I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
