You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
