well I can't set my house on fire every night
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
false alarm, still single
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