i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize