I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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