did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
as a side note pls kill me
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
