Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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