i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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