random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
