the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
