There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
