good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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