I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
