the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
