then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
