the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
