He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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