just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
