my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
