Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
