moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
