I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize