ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
