I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
COCAINE IS GR8
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
