East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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