Already got asked if we're dating
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
How's work?
Spinning.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
