Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
