i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
