I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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