I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
