I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
