He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
