My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
