we're blogging at a bar
Do vagina's smell?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize