I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
