after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
