Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
