I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
