How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
