i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
People in love make me want to vomit
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
