So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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