Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish i was in the wii world.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
