So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize