i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
