why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I am mentally ready for anal.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
