Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Still dying that you shit outside
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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