Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
