i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
