mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
All the doctor said was why
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize