It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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