It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
