make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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