It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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