Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
it glows. i had to have it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
How external is "for external use only"?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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