her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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