If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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