In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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