everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
