1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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