We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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