he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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