So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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