i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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