Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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