No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
