well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
